So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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