Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
