spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize