just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize