my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
