2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
