Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
