Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
