can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
