i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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