break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
