uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
