I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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