I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
