Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
