In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
