You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
