I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we made out on top of his cat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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