Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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