Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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