Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
