We're facebook friends in real life
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
