Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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