Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
