Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
