Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
