To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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