The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
