in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
