4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
