I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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