Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
