Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we should paint friendship bongs
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
