How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just cropdusted the office
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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