Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
