Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
