sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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