I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
