She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
