all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
