Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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