i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
