All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
