there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
