happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
