Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
