I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
