tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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