...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize