Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
