Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
