You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
