I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When are your genitals available?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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