NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
