We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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