Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
