Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
