he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
