As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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