After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
