with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
