Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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