i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
