i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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