somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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